Going to bed alone isn’t even the worst part for me anymore. Waking up in an empty bed, in an empty room, in an empty fucking house, is a really horrible feeling. Every morning/afternoon that I wake up in this house, I can feel this pressure on my chest and this inexplicable anxiety coming up and up and up from the very pit of my stomach. There is nothing wrong, nothing bad has happened to me today, nothing is bothering me, yet all this is still happening. I think I have a legitimate fear of being alone - but I don’t know if alone is even the right word. My brain can only view my life through a series of short bursts of time, never long-term. When I wake up, not knowing what’s going to happen that day, I literally feel like the world and all its pressures are caving in on me.
tagged as: personal blog, waking up alone, life, morning, alone, thoughts, rant, emotions, emotional clusterfuck blog,
- lloveisaplace posted this